


Fallen Angel

by Castiel (Thief_0f_heart)



Series: Destiel Rewrites [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Crying, Depressed Castiel (Supernatural), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Men Crying, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Sad Castiel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester Knows, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Castiel (Supernatural), Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:01:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27800440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thief_0f_heart/pseuds/Castiel
Summary: Another rewrite. But this time!! A song fic!!There are themes of Self-Harm and Suicide in this!! Please be wary and stay safe!!
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Destiel Rewrites [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2025755
Kudos: 23





	1. The original

Late at night I could hear the crying  
I hear it all, trying to fall asleep  
When all the love around you is dying

It had been happening every night. Tonight it just so happened that Dean was awake, staying up late due to research. As he was walking back to his room in the bunker he heard a sound, whimpering, coming from Castiel's room. Hurrying over to the door, fearing the other was in trouble, he called out softly as to not wake Sam,¨Cass?¨ The sound stopped abruptly, with the exception of a few sniffles. ¨D-Dean?¨ Came Castiel's voice, hoarse from crying. Dean opened the door slowly, taken aback by the sight in front of him. There was Cass in a heap on the bed, tear streaks down his face. The sight alone made his heart hurt.

How do you stay so strong?  
How did you hide it all for so long?  
How can I take the pain away?  
How can I save

¨Cass...¨ Dean whispered, rushing into the room. Castiel turns away, hiding his face. ¨De-¨ He starts but gets cut off by another round of tears. ¨Cass, it's going to be okay. Tell me what's the problem.¨ He mutters, moving to sit on the bed next to Cass, reaching out to rub his back. ¨I am Dean!¨ Cass croaks out. ¨I'm always the problem... I mess up everything! Hell, I can't even die properly.¨ He starts viciously scratching at his arm. ¨Hey, hey, hey. Stop that. It's not true.¨Dean grabs his wrist, pulling his sleeve up in the process revealing scars. 

A fallen angel, in the dark  
Never thought you'd fall so far  
Fallen angel, close your eyes  
I won't let you fall tonight  
Fallen angel

Dean looked down at the horizontal scars covering up and down the fallen angel's arms. There were a few vertical scars that worried Dean. Some looked newer than others, some deeper, but they all looked terrible.¨Cass? What the hell are these!?¨ Cass shies away from Dean, his lip trembling. ¨I- I- I'm sorry, Dean...¨ His voice comes out shaky, making Dean curse himself for yelling. His face and voice soften ¨Shit, Cass... I'm sorry. I just want to know why?¨

You do it all for my own protection  
You make me feel like I'll be okay  
Still I have so many questions

Cass looks up at Dean with the most heart wrenching look, his usual beautiful blue eyes blood shot. ¨Because I always mess up! I-I... I impose on you and Sam's lives, making them worse. Yo-you guys just keep me around because you feel obliged to out of... out of pity! I'm not even useful anymore so you have no.. no use for me anymore. I stick around out of se-selfish reasons. Dean...¨ He pauses and looks Dean straight in the eyes and repeated the same horrible thing he said all those years ago. ¨I'm afraid I might kill myself.¨ 

How do you stay so strong?  
How did you hide it all for so long?  
How can I take the pain away?  
How can I save

Dean's heart stops for a moment. ¨Cass you listen to me. You think the reason we keep you around is because we see you as a tool or a weapon? No! We keep you around because we need you... I- I need you. You're family. I don't care if you have your angel mojo. I want you, power or not. Cass, I... I lo-love you.¨ Dean's face turns a light red and he looks away. Castiel stiffens slightly unsure if what Dean is saying is true. He wipes the tears away from his face and uses his other hand to reach out and cup Dean's face. He moves it back to look at him.

A fallen angel, in the dark  
Never thought you'd fall so far  
Fallen angel, close your eyes  
I won't let you fall tonight

¨You... re-really mean that?¨ Cass asks, face full of hope. Dean gives him a soft smile, ¨With all my heart.¨ Castiel's face lights up with the biggest smile Dean has ever seen on him. ¨Thank goodness.¨ Cass pulls Dean into a soft kiss, smile still present. Dean's eyes fall shut and he kisses back with a need, a need to convey all his love and reassurances into this one kiss. ¨I love you. I love you so much. I need you. It's gonna be okay.¨ He mutters against Cass' lips.

Fallen angel, just let go  
You don't have to be alone  
Fallen angel, close your eyes  
I won't let you fall tonight

Dean pulls away when he feels wetness on the other's face. He cups his cheek and brushes away the now flowing tears. ¨Hey... it's okay. Why are you crying.¨ He mutters. Cass looks at him, smiling. ¨I've never been this happy in my life.. The only moments I've ever even felt anything close to this are with you... You just make me so... happy!¨ Dean smiles fondly back at him. ¨Good.¨ 

I was right beside you  
When you went to hell and back again  
I was right beside you  
When you went to hell and back again  
And I, I couldn't save, a fallen angel

Dean hugs Cass close to his chest, leaning against the back of the bed. He runs his fingers through the dark brown hair on the other's head, pressing kisses to his temple every so often. Soon the smaller man is asleep. Dean moves them so that they're laying down. Pressing a few kisses to Cass' cheek, nose, and forehead he whispers, ¨Goodnight, my angel.¨ 

A fallen angel, in the dark  
Never thought you'd fall so far  
Fallen angel, close your eyes  
I won't let you fall tonight

Sam wakes up early the next morning. Walking to the kitchen he passes Castiel's room, the door open. He looks inside to see his brother and the fallen angel asleep, cuddled up close. He smiles and mumbles, ¨So they finally admitted to how happy they make one another.¨ He laughs softly and walks away, closing the door.

Fallen angel, just let go  
You don't have to be alone  
Fallen angel, close your eyes  
I won't let you fall tonight  
Fallen angel

¨Now maybe they'll stop with the eye-fucking.¨


	2. The rewrite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I realized while writing this that the original wasn't that bad. So, I didn't change as much as I thought I would.

_Late at night I could hear the crying  
I hear it all, trying to fall asleep  
When all the love around you is dying _

Dean had stayed up after the others went to bed for the first time in weeks. He had told Sam that he wanted to look for cases but was actually just watching Dr. Sexy MD. He yawned and looked at his watch, “Shit. It’s already one AM?” He muttered. He stood up and stretched before walking back towards his room. Along the way he heard whimpering coming from Castiel’s room. He rushed over to the door, drawing his gun just in case the other was in trouble. He opened it a crack, speaking low so he wouldn’t wake Sam up if he wasn’t needed, “Cass? You alright?” He heard shuffling and the sound stopped almost suddenly, with the exception of a sniffle. “Ye-yes, Dean. I-I’m alright..” Castiel replied, his voice even more rough from his crying. Dean opened the door fully now, completely taken aback by the sight in front of him. Cass was curled up on the bed, tear streaks running down his face. The sight alone made Dean’s heart ache.

_How do you stay so strong?  
How did you hide it all for so long?  
How can I take the pain away?  
How can I save_

Dean hesitates before slowly walking into the room, “Oh, Cass…” He mumbles. Castiel turns away, hiding his face from Dean as another round of tears fall. ¨Cass, it's going to be okay. Tell me. What's the problem?¨ He mutters, moving to sit on the bed next to Cass, reaching out to rub his back. ¨I am, Dean!¨ Cass croaks out. ¨I'm always the problem... I mess up everything! Hell, I can't even die properly.¨ Cass starts scratching at his arm, shaking slightly. ¨Hey, hey, hey. Stop that. It's not true.¨ Dean grabs his wrist, pulling his sleeve up in the process, revealing scars.

_A fallen angel, in the dark  
Never thought you'd fall so far  
Fallen angel, close your eyes  
I won't let you fall tonight  
Fallen angel_

Dean looked down at the scars covering up and down the fallen angel's arms. There were a few vertical scars that worried Dean. Some looked fresher than others, some deeper, but they all looked terrible.¨Cass? What the hell?!¨ Cass shys away from Dean, pulling his arm away and pulling the sleeve back down. ¨I-I'm sorry, Dean...¨ His voice comes out shaky, making Dean curse himself for yelling. Dean’s face and voice soften ¨Shit, Cass... I'm sorry. I just want to know... Why?¨

_You do it all for my own protection  
You make me feel like I'll be okay  
Still I have so many questions_

Cass looks up at Dean, his usually beautiful blue eyes blood shot. ¨Because I always mess up! I-I... I impose on you and Sam's lives, making them worse. You guys just keep me around because you feel obliged to out of... out of pity! I'm not even useful anymore so you have no.. no use for me anymore. I stick around out of my own se-selfish reasons. Dean...¨ He stops and looks Dean dead in the eyes, repeating the same horrible thing he said before, ¨I'm afraid I might kill myself.¨

_How do you stay so strong?  
How did you hide it all for so long?  
How can I take the pain away?  
How can I save_

Dean's heart stops for a moment. ¨Castiel. You listen to me. You think the reason we keep you around is because we see you as a tool or a weapon? No! We keep you around because we need you... I- I need you. You're family. I don't care if you have your angel mojo. I want you, power or not. Cass, I... I love you.¨ Dean looks away, tears forming in his own eyes. Castiel stiffens slightly, unsure if what Dean is saying is true. He wipes the tears away from his own face. He wasn’t completely sure what to do. He felt the same for Dean but what if Dean was just saying it to be nice?

_A fallen angel, in the dark  
Never thought you'd fall so far  
Fallen angel, close your eyes  
I won't let you fall tonight_

¨You... really mean that?¨ Cass asks, expression hopeful. Dean looks back at Castiel and gives him a soft smile, ¨With all my heart.¨ Castiel's face lights up with the biggest smile Dean has ever seen on him. ¨I love you too..¨ Dean moves toward Cass, Slow enough that he can push him away if he doesn’t want this, and kisses Castiel with a need, a need to convey all his love and reassurances into this one kiss. Castiel kisses back, smiling. ¨I love you. I love you so much. I need you. It's gonna be okay.¨ Dean mutters against Cass' lips.

_Fallen angel, just let go  
You don't have to be alone  
Fallen angel, close your eyes  
I won't let you fall tonight_

Dean pulls away when he feels wetness on the other's face. He cups his cheek and brushes away the now flowing tears. ¨Hey... it's okay. Why are you crying?¨ He mutters. Cass looks at him, smiling, ¨I've never been this happy before.. The only moments I've ever even felt anything close to this are with you... You just make me so... happy..¨ Dean smiles fondly back at him. “I’m glad.¨

_I was right beside you  
When you went to hell and back again  
I was right beside you  
When you went to hell and back again  
And I, I couldn't save, a fallen angel_

Dean hugs Cass close to his chest, leaning against the back of the bed. He runs his fingers through the dark brown hair on the other's head, pressing kisses to his temple every so often. Soon the smaller man is asleep. Dean moves them so that they're laying down. Pressing a few kisses to Cass' cheek, nose, and forehead he whispers, ¨Goodnight, my angel.¨ 

_A fallen angel, in the dark  
Never thought you'd fall so far  
Fallen angel, close your eyes  
I won't let you fall tonight_

Sam wakes up early the next morning. While walking to the kitchen, he passes Castiel's room, the door open. He looks inside to see his brother and the fallen angel asleep, cuddled up close. He smiles and mumbles, ¨So, they finally admitted to how happy they make one another.¨ He laughs softly and walks away, closing the door.

_Fallen angel, just let go  
You don't have to be alone  
Fallen angel, close your eyes  
I won't let you fall tonight  
Fallen angel_

**Author's Note:**

> The song is Fallen Angel by Three Days Grace.


End file.
